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Tuesday, September 18, 2007




when you're gone; dfzy.


i always needed time on my own
i never thought i'd need you there when i cry
and the days feel like years when i'm alone
and the bed where you lie is made up on your side

when you walk away i count the steps that you take
do you see how much i need you right now

(chorus)
when you're gone
the pieces of my heart are missing you

when you're gone
the face i came to know is missing too
when you're gone
the words i need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
i miss you

i've never felt this way before
everything that i do reminds me of you
and the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
and they smell just like you, i love the things that you do

when you walk away i count the steps that you take
do you see how much i need you right now

(chorus)

we were made for each other
out here forever
i know we were, yeah
all i ever wanted was for you to know
everything i'd do, i'd give my heart and soul
i can hardly breathe i need to feel you here with me, yeah

(chorus)


this song is heartfelt.







the pain was so much, last night and this morning.


ii couldnt explain why, but it was there. the feeling of losing frens, is definately unbearable. ii was damn terrible.


ii tried to put up with a false front and masked myself behind a happy :) .


but ii guess it wasnt a good mask, tored, and known.


thanks people for asking me to cheer up . ii dint want to appear sad. ii tot ii had a happyy face enough today.






during recess, ii went to the counselling room ,with the initaite thought of just slacking there.


ii couldnt smile much.


ii told mr surjuno ii wanted counselling. & for the first time he talked to me.






thinking through all that had happened, tears flowed out. this time round, OUT. not backwards anymore. it was so damn uncontrollable. still, ii still couldnt tell anyone about whad had happened. ii cant.


though ii dint tokk much with mr NONO. ii felt so much alrights after crying.


joy , oh , ii hoped.






the rest of the day was quite fine, however, with my emotions unsettled.


my breathing pace abnormal, ii feel so much like dying.




ii'm sorryys bre & fzy.


bredon, happyys birthday. ii noe you wunt see this.






ii ran around the garden today, 3 abject rounds.


but was kinda fast (:


1-3.39min


2-2.++min


3-3.14min


it's a much better way to relieve my stress ii guess.

*

oblivious chumminess made us dead.
collapsed in the throe of agony.
ignorance aint bliss.
dimunitive contact,
made my day a bad.

Monday, September 17, 2007

and ii'm feeling pain, mentally and right in there.
breath was stopped.

this is how ii'm feeling right now.
it's like perhaps, you guys may think that ii've been such a bitch , such a slut.
whaddever, sometimes, ii think so too.
ii cant change your mentality of me .
but hell yae, i cant even remb stuffs that ii did.
ii've been terrible ii noe.
call me names, and yae, I CARE.

ii'm damn screwed. ii noe.
ii'm alone. yes ii'm.
ii shall retreat . ii will.
tears flowing backwards,
and ii'm sure.
not in a clear state, ii was.

death penalty was sentenced.
to silence me as a killer.



debris sustained right in there.
memory ii tried to held back.
ii care,
but the above was unfair.